When I fell in love with my husband I knew he had children and that I had inherited an instant family.
It’s been a joy and a struggle as the kids find their way within the world, and with both sets of parents (who both agree we are pretty lucky that the kids aren’t ridiculously naughty and a of the adults get along having the kids best interest as our first priority.
The first one the child who is now a 16 year old young man has transititioned through his adolescent years with not a hitch.
But the 14 has turned into a witch.
I’m mean her life is so bad with the choice of living in a sea side community with the house over looking the sea. Being able to walk 2 mins to go swimming, surfing, snorkelling. Or living in the best city in Australia with all of the options she can dream of at her finger tips.
But for her this is not enough.
She and her BFF have schemed up together the best plan for themselves, which involves them living under the friends parents roof and going to the same school just because they miss each other.
So here comes the possible instant full time parenting.
Don’t get me wrong I totally want the best for her and if she chooses to come and stay with us full time I’d be thrilled but there’s a part of me going OMG things around here will dramatically change! (My ego getting selfish and not wanting to share really is the issue)
I mean all of the hair utensils that I have brought over the years are actually going to be used, along with the hair clips, ties, products etc that I’m gonna use.
I’m going to have to sort out a meal planner which will save me money and time.
Be more structured with my time as I don’t just have to worry about where myself and my husband have to be.
Isn’t it funny how when thinking you can create such a drama when there really isn’t one, just by tAlking with all of you you’ve helped me see that all changes are blessing.
In society you are either a cat person or a dog person but me I’m just an animal person. I have both a dog ‘Kiera’ and a cat ‘Monty’ and they have grown up together and are about to turn eight. This story today is about what I have learnt over the years especially from Monty and the others cats that have touched my life.
Over my years on this planet I’ve had a few pets and they all have definitely had their own personalities which have suited where I’ve been within my journey. Some have been very cuddly, some have been crazy and iritic and there was one who liked to play with a goanna – yes I said a goanna. I would see my cat jumping and this 2 & 1/2 metre long goanna getting on it’s hind legs, I think the goanna was only playing to cause he never caught the cat. That cat was called G.U.S. (Got Up-to Something) he was pretty naughty and unfortunately ended up getting squashed because he liked to also play on the road.
So today I thought that I’d share how I’m feeling very blessed to have had them all in my life, especially focusing on Monty.
Monty was 18 weeks old when we went to the RSPCA to get a birthday present for me, we already had Kiera but I wanted a cat too. So the whole family were there Mark, Wills (Step-son), Amber (step-daughter) and myself. We had decided that we would pick the best ones then make a decision. The girls were chasing the little black cats around, I have always loved black cats and Amber ended up with a lovely scratch down her chest from playing with one. Then I looked at Mark who was holding this lovely little tabby who was so content in his arms and said “If we are getting a cat it’s going to be this one” so the decision was made. We then did all of the paperwork and then bought him home. Kiera was really great with him and the whole family was so happy things seemed complete.
On the Monday I was off to school and had shut Monty in the bathroom as he was still getting to know his way through the house and didn’t want any toilet surprizes when I came home. He had a cone collar on his head because when they de-sexed him they had to put a stitch in and they didn’t want it to come open. When I came home he was limping and so I rang the RSPCA and asked if I could bring him in to be looked at after telling them what had happened and the lady on the other end of the line said his leg might need to be taken off. My world just went from complete to complete failure. I rang my husband in hysterics and finally he was home and we took the poor little thing to get checked up. Turns out he just jarred his leg and needed it to be strapped. Sigh………. Breathe……… Life’s now complete again and went on as normal.
About two years later we moved from that home in Box Hill (VIC – AUST) into a place in Brunswick (VIC – AUST) before we moved to Sydney. Now Monty was always an adventurous cat and snuck past my husbands legs and go out. 1 day, 2 days, 3 days went by and even though I was still call his name from the back door cause I could tell he was still alive he just wasn’t coming back. 12 days later Mark called me to say that he had been found between two buildings and they are getting him out. When they put him in my arms all the little bugger could do is bit my chin as if to say I could hear you why didn’t you get me before now?
This has shown me resilience, strength, courage, and love.
Since that day he still likes to adventure but he always seems to come home.
When it comes to being affectionate both Mark and Monty will only give me cuddles when I’m not being needy. This use to bug me but now it has made me a lot stronger with my love for myself. Monty very rarely comes and sits on my lap but will go to Mark. I suppose they have had a bond from the start when Mark first picked him up. I find that Monty really likes being around me when I am truly centred, present and loving me. They are great moments and wouldn’t change him or them for the world.
It’s just been the holidays and my step children have just been to stay over for a couple of days from interstate. They are 15 year old William and a month off 13 year old Amber. This time I thought that I would let go of all expectations that I had of the way they were going to act and go with the flow with whatever arises over the next couple of days.
It was a little traumatic picking them up because there 2 & 1/2 year old brother to their mother’s new partner wanted to come too. Poor little buddy had it in his head that we were going to Disneyland and began to scream to get into the car. This is the first time that he has done this and wasn’t fun for anyone.
Then the car ride home was the interesting part I was chatting with the kids and asked them about their day, what they had been up-to during the holidays and then how school was going. WOW! did I get a surprise. The conversation went on and on and on with the kids stating how terrible this one particular teacher was and that it’s his fault that they didn’t do good in his class because there was too much theory and that he “Didn’t ENTERTAIN Us“. “Teachers are suppose to make it fun so that we can learn”.
It lead me to question then for our larger community of younger people to be intelligently developed do we have to entertain them? Will going for a teaching job entail an audition to see how entertain that person is? It then made me think – Do all of the kids want to be entertained or is it just the kids that find that style of learning beneficial? There are many ways to learn and teach so do we need to look at the teaching curriculum and styles that get the boring stuff and the fun stuff through within the schooling system.
All of this from a young man who sat in front of the television entertaining himself for those couple of days that he was visiting.
My big loves my cat Monty and dog Kiera. They are 7 and a 1/2 and have grown up together. They remind me of tg the differences between siblings. We may have similarities but always have a different opinion, this may cause fights but at the end of the day we will always live each other.
It’s easy when you are a young child everyone thinks your cute and then your hormones start to roar and that once adorable little girl turns into a hungry lioness. Not sure about where that you fit into the world not sure on who you are or who you want to be. Best advice that I could give to you is to do what truely makes you happy and not what is expected of you. This is how you will find that cute little lion cub once more.