So I’m sitting here in a darkened bar surrounded by 21 year olds & I begin to contemplate my next day of birth when I’m to turn 40.
I’m thinking to myself where has the past twenty years gone?
So much has happened but I think the greatest thing of all I got older & I now appreciate all that I am.
I love deeper and I know what I want out of life.
I can look in the mirror and I believe it when I say “you’re beautiful & I love you”.
I actually feel Ageless and I’m looking forward to the adventures that the next 20 years bring
So just recently I have been thinking about what I have been doing to my body by the foods and drinks I have been consuming and how they make me feel.
About 6 weeks ago I decided to cut my caffeine intake and stopped drinking coffee which for someone who use to live on coffee was a pretty big thing. What I did was swapped it for Chai Lattes and lucky for me my local café makes them with real leaves not just the sugary mix.
A week or so after that I thought I’d start dry July a week early so I haven’t had an alcoholic drink in quiet a while and I am clearer and have not even felt like one so I will keep going with this.
But what I hadn’t realised (well did want to realise) was that I had replaced coffee and wine with my sugary friend chocolate, and lots of it. the build up was just getting more and more until the weekend just gone when I ate so much that I was ashamed of myself.
Monday I felt all achy, slow and really I felt like I had been drinking a case of champagne not indulging in my chocolate heaven. Then the headache kicked in and the negotiation that I was having with myself just have a small piece and the headache will go away, hmmm breathe, no I’m not going to crack no yet anyway.
Then I got to thinking that what I was actually doing was using my chocolaty friend as a comfort blanket which slowly crept up on me and actually took over for a short while. And I am so grateful for a realisation that I have been substituting which has showed me that I have come so far because of how quickly I have been able to make it turn around. In the past I would have let this go on and on for weeks not just the weekend.
I’m also taking on a new challenge to detox myself from my chocolaty friend and look at why I am turning to it for comfort.
And the reason why I was looking for comfort is that I am afraid not from fear but of the love and the joy that I have allowed into my life. When you have had so much fear within it takes a couple of times to just let the love flow. Each time I slip it is very easy to come back to ‘the light’ and keep moving forward.
So this is why I am now going to start treating my body as a temple and not to hide behind food any longer. This doesn’t mean that I will never eat chocolate again it just means that I’m resetting myself for greatness. I have also realised that it’s not really what I’m eating it’s why I’m eating it that I will continue to work on.